Oft in life, we come across people and faces that change us. Interactions that alter our core being, conversations that change our fundamental outlook, situations that change our sense of being and perspective...
People - they define us, or more specifically help us define ourselves. Who are we? what do we want? The when, where, what of our very existence is defined by interactions with others. In a broader sense, we relate to ourselves as relative to others - I am better than him, she is my ideal, he is perfect! and so on.. In case, it is not mortals that we seek to benchmark ourselves to, we create "Gods" or visions of perfection that we aspire to replicate in our thoughts, actions and words. In all of these cases, we are necessarily defining ourselves "relative" to others. Maybe that's why they call those related to us by bloodlines "relatives", the sense of benchmarking or "competition" is supposed to highest among those most like us??
Sorry, slightly off-tangent but couldn't resist the pun!;D
On a more serious note, lets get cracking on how we define ourselves!
All forms of social, emotional and human bonding are then an exercise in self-realization! So end of the day, we are all self-obsessed, unfulfilled, selfish souls seeking to find our anchor by our circle of trust! Ouch!! There goes the theory of man being a social animal down the drain! But wait, not necessarily coz here we are just trying to understand why man is a social animal, in fact we are just taking the theory to the next level! Phew!! Bach gayi!!:D
A related issue - Man is a social animal. That is a fundamental premise. However, why then do we have murderers, rapists, terrorists, basically "anti-social" elements also present as a part of the social fabric? Again, I would term these are social interactions; they may be anti-social to the extent that they harm one or more individuals but then the word "social" does not necessarily imply pleasant. I mean, just going by the word, a social interaction is an engagement between any two entities. It may or may not be legitimate, pleasant, or morally acceptable but the word per se doesn't lend any qualitative characteristics to the interaction. The form and nature of the interaction is an outcome of social, cultural, inter-personal phenomena guiding the two entities.
My take on the whole situation- we define ourselves by choosing whom we keep close to ourselves. The people we surround ourselves with, the company we associate with, the social interactions we choose to be a part of, even the organization we work with, essentially our "circle of trust" - the ones we open up to, lay bare our vulnerabilities, doubts, dilemmas, share our successes with, define our aspirations with, our closest friends and even our enemies (circle of distrust in this case!) (Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?)
Note that our core circle of trust may not be the most evident people in our lives - the friends we hang around with or the partner we live with. It may include some one as obscure as the poet whose work inspires us, the seer we look up to or the person on the plane we befriended an hour ago. It may or may not be evident to those who observe us, but inside us we know. These are the people we align with, seek as our natural allies, partners. As disaggegated individuals, these are the structures or the norms that bind us, unwind us. This, our circle of trust, is what defines our core being.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Jai Deva
Jai Deva - two simple words, a very powerful mantra.. What is about faith that inspires millions, no billions, err trillions?? (soon my friend, at last count world population was estimated at 6,779,912,670 as on 25th Aug '09 by the US census bureau!)
What is it about Bhakti that moves each of us - whether religious fervents or atheists to sometime in life, in deep despair, or in extreme happiness to call out "oh God"? What is it about Karma and Dharma that makes us just believe? emboldens the "sunshine people" (the eternal, undying, almost as if on dope kinda optimists!) to always grin? and the wannabe martyrdom craving cynics, a reason to live and scream out "Bhagwan hai, sab dekh raha hai"!!
What is about faith that brings so many people, from so many different walks of life, together? Swine flu or not, Ganapati Bappa Morya, in God we trust unconditionally!
Omnipotent, Omniscient - the magic of belief seems to rival even the popularity of its creator - it seems to be everywhere, have an answer for all of ones woes; worldly or even otherwise, reduce insurmountable odds to ashes, and medical uncertainties to medical marvels! Belief, it seems makes the world go round. And belief it seems, sets in motion a whole chain of well, another round of belief!
Don't get me wrong, am not on a religion-glorifying mission here. Am just trying to capture the phenomenon that can suddenly make the world seem a nicer place, the flowers seem brighter, and return a lost smile...Its magical isn't it - this feeling that there is some entity up there, out there, rooting for you, ready to catch you if you fall, ready to challenge you if you don't do so yourself, ready to push you, guide you and even hold your hand if you stumble.
This one is not about God or religion, or ideology or purpose or fervour or fanaticism. This one is not even about Gaia, or the Superconscious or sending a message to the universe. This one is simply about letting go. Not just letting go of set notions, of the good, bad, ugly, not just asking for redemption or admitting to the wrongs one has done but letting go of all the bad the world may have subjected one to. This one is simply about believing, in oneself, in hope, in the future - if that involves faith and God and destiny and luck, so be it! At least one believes in the existence of a future worth living in, waiting for, aspiring towards...
Maybe we are delusional, but if one goes by the philosophy underlying phenomenal film, The Matrix, the world as we see it, is delusional! The point is, you can choose to just believe! Coz truth too, just like faith, is not absolute!
Nothing is good or bad, thinking makes it so. Nothing is or can be, belief, however, makes it seem so!;-)
What is it about Bhakti that moves each of us - whether religious fervents or atheists to sometime in life, in deep despair, or in extreme happiness to call out "oh God"? What is it about Karma and Dharma that makes us just believe? emboldens the "sunshine people" (the eternal, undying, almost as if on dope kinda optimists!) to always grin? and the wannabe martyrdom craving cynics, a reason to live and scream out "Bhagwan hai, sab dekh raha hai"!!
What is about faith that brings so many people, from so many different walks of life, together? Swine flu or not, Ganapati Bappa Morya, in God we trust unconditionally!
Omnipotent, Omniscient - the magic of belief seems to rival even the popularity of its creator - it seems to be everywhere, have an answer for all of ones woes; worldly or even otherwise, reduce insurmountable odds to ashes, and medical uncertainties to medical marvels! Belief, it seems makes the world go round. And belief it seems, sets in motion a whole chain of well, another round of belief!
Don't get me wrong, am not on a religion-glorifying mission here. Am just trying to capture the phenomenon that can suddenly make the world seem a nicer place, the flowers seem brighter, and return a lost smile...Its magical isn't it - this feeling that there is some entity up there, out there, rooting for you, ready to catch you if you fall, ready to challenge you if you don't do so yourself, ready to push you, guide you and even hold your hand if you stumble.
This one is not about God or religion, or ideology or purpose or fervour or fanaticism. This one is not even about Gaia, or the Superconscious or sending a message to the universe. This one is simply about letting go. Not just letting go of set notions, of the good, bad, ugly, not just asking for redemption or admitting to the wrongs one has done but letting go of all the bad the world may have subjected one to. This one is simply about believing, in oneself, in hope, in the future - if that involves faith and God and destiny and luck, so be it! At least one believes in the existence of a future worth living in, waiting for, aspiring towards...
Maybe we are delusional, but if one goes by the philosophy underlying phenomenal film, The Matrix, the world as we see it, is delusional! The point is, you can choose to just believe! Coz truth too, just like faith, is not absolute!
Nothing is good or bad, thinking makes it so. Nothing is or can be, belief, however, makes it seem so!;-)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Moving on = Turning Back?
Unsaid, unwritten, some chapters in life have a way of closing themselves, incomplete. We aren't sure if we are done yet, but move on thinking what's done is done and can't be undone. Years, months, weeks later, we suddenly remember. A blast from the past, a ghost returns to haunt us, taunt us. And suddenly, the present becomes a hazy mist as our feet take us back to where it all started from, where the tale lies untold and the embers continue to unfold...
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, life has a way of going round and round before coming full circle. Suddenly we find the past staring us in the face, seeking answers to questions we may have run away from...
Its magical isn't it? This ability of life to hold us accountable, the conviction with which it expects us to remember and the means with which it makes us aware. Just because something is over, doesn't mean its done with. Maybe you forgot the appendix to that chapter, or maybe you forgot to run your spellcheck, but in the word processor of life, we sometimes do get to review - to change, undo, or simply relive and cherish what we left behind:-)
Past-present, time-space, these are strongly inter-related concepts even though one is defined by philosophy and theology while the other is posited by Physics. Ever heard of Deja vu? The dictionary defines it as the feeling of already having seen the present. How do you rationalize it? How do you logify it? If not for the circle, how did we run into a situation that has already happened? Well, this is getting even more complicated and all I wanted to do was a simple entry before hitting the sack!
Ok lets get cracking. Lets start with a basic assumption and definition - the social sciences in my universe are also "sciences"; and within social sciences I choose to include Theology and occult, subjects which I don't know much about but believe that a lack of knowledge doesn't give me the authority to label these as unsceintific.
So lets start with the simplest possible case study - you, your present. Your current station in life is a direct/indirect outcome of a number of factors - your education, your occupation, the people in your life, etc. In most part however, your past, what you did in the last few years, in the years before that, yesterday, today morning, define who you are today, right now. Talking rhetorically, therefore, the past presents cues, answers, solutions, definitions to questions, issues, debates, events that may be making/marring/defining your present. and to the extent that you need the present to link up with a valid/solid/pleasant/wanted future, sometimes you may need to turn back, reflect, re-assess, address and resolve your past to define your future and move on from your present.
Turning back, then, may not be a step back; maybe its just a rain-check, a rewind button that you hit to ensure a seamless recording for what lies ahead.
You know its a very powerful feeling, to know that you may have messed up but its possible to fix it. Maybe, sometimes all you need to do is face it. Maybe, all it needs is a simple "sorry" or a "thank you". Maybe you moved too fast, and all you need to do is turn around. Or maybe it was the perfect ending to the chapter, but that doesn't mean you can't write another one! Afterall, perfection is what you define it to be, come on just humour me and take it to another level this time around - you never know what you may end up creating. I mean, at one point of time they thought DOS was perfect, but that didnot stop Microsoft from redefining what a user-friendly OS could be like - aka Windows! Ok, am not a sure fan but MS certainly re-defined the boundary of operating systems when it came to user-friendliness!
This one is about second chances. About home-coming, about lessons learnt from the past to make the future worth living. This one is about the circle called life..Of course, some may prefer to call it the "circus" of life, but we'll leave that one for another day!;-)
Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!;-)
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, life has a way of going round and round before coming full circle. Suddenly we find the past staring us in the face, seeking answers to questions we may have run away from...
Its magical isn't it? This ability of life to hold us accountable, the conviction with which it expects us to remember and the means with which it makes us aware. Just because something is over, doesn't mean its done with. Maybe you forgot the appendix to that chapter, or maybe you forgot to run your spellcheck, but in the word processor of life, we sometimes do get to review - to change, undo, or simply relive and cherish what we left behind:-)
Past-present, time-space, these are strongly inter-related concepts even though one is defined by philosophy and theology while the other is posited by Physics. Ever heard of Deja vu? The dictionary defines it as the feeling of already having seen the present. How do you rationalize it? How do you logify it? If not for the circle, how did we run into a situation that has already happened? Well, this is getting even more complicated and all I wanted to do was a simple entry before hitting the sack!
Ok lets get cracking. Lets start with a basic assumption and definition - the social sciences in my universe are also "sciences"; and within social sciences I choose to include Theology and occult, subjects which I don't know much about but believe that a lack of knowledge doesn't give me the authority to label these as unsceintific.
So lets start with the simplest possible case study - you, your present. Your current station in life is a direct/indirect outcome of a number of factors - your education, your occupation, the people in your life, etc. In most part however, your past, what you did in the last few years, in the years before that, yesterday, today morning, define who you are today, right now. Talking rhetorically, therefore, the past presents cues, answers, solutions, definitions to questions, issues, debates, events that may be making/marring/defining your present. and to the extent that you need the present to link up with a valid/solid/pleasant/wanted future, sometimes you may need to turn back, reflect, re-assess, address and resolve your past to define your future and move on from your present.
Turning back, then, may not be a step back; maybe its just a rain-check, a rewind button that you hit to ensure a seamless recording for what lies ahead.
You know its a very powerful feeling, to know that you may have messed up but its possible to fix it. Maybe, sometimes all you need to do is face it. Maybe, all it needs is a simple "sorry" or a "thank you". Maybe you moved too fast, and all you need to do is turn around. Or maybe it was the perfect ending to the chapter, but that doesn't mean you can't write another one! Afterall, perfection is what you define it to be, come on just humour me and take it to another level this time around - you never know what you may end up creating. I mean, at one point of time they thought DOS was perfect, but that didnot stop Microsoft from redefining what a user-friendly OS could be like - aka Windows! Ok, am not a sure fan but MS certainly re-defined the boundary of operating systems when it came to user-friendliness!
This one is about second chances. About home-coming, about lessons learnt from the past to make the future worth living. This one is about the circle called life..Of course, some may prefer to call it the "circus" of life, but we'll leave that one for another day!;-)
Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!;-)
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Things to do
1> Maid's holiday - find an alternative!
2> Spa appointment
3> Groceries!
4> Pack for the trip
5> Tomorrow's big meeting - get the primer done
6> Collect dry cleaning
.
.
.
.
Ever feel like you are running to be in the same place?
That the theory of relativity defines your life - you are aging even though you are just an observer; you are free-falling just coz you aren't doing anything!
That the rain just reminds you of how horrid the traffic is going to be..
That you "visit" family; the flower shop; your fave restaurant...
That it's all going so fast that the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror was just to wear make-up...
Somehow, between all those meetings, office trips, emails and salary checks, your best friend had her heart broken and you never came to know....or you yours but never got around to talking about it...
Your secy is your new best friend, your boss is your God and work your religion...
Somehow, your to do list is never-ending and some crisis or the other keeps pushing you on and on...
Your perception of reality is "I my me", you broke up with a guy coz he earned less than you and all that you can focus on away from work is well, work!
Admit it, life isn't exactly where you thought it would be but it is. You live in a dream, but you aren't sure if its yours...
You know, you don't have to compromise - just coz it seems like the only option does not mean it is! Just coz it seems like the "ideal" life, "ideal" guy, "ideal" whatever, does not mean that you stop dreaming, aspiring, walking on.
A lot of times in life, maybe everyday for some of us, we wonder. Then we wonder, what's to wonder, what's wrong with me, he seems perfect, its really good money, I am not qualified for anything else, and we reconcile and re-believe that our life is perfect. But for how long?
Ever feel like you are running to be in the same place?
Don't run so fast that you get your ankle twisted, or worse your foot fractured.
Gosh, you are only so many years old, you do have the luxury of time on your hands. what once you reach the top? Just coz you are so used to running, you are gonna topple right off - maybe pulled down by exactly one of those super-driven sorts who eerily reminds you of the way you were.
I mean seriously, was this even your dream, passion, true calling to begin with?
Are you truly, honestly, happy, contented?
Do you have a good night's sleep once you hit the bed or you just go from one alarm to the other - one to remind you its bedtime and the other to wake you up!
Do you call your wife/husband/proxy just to hear their voice? Or are they there in your life just like one of those props you picked up in an awards function?
Stop! Stop dragging yourself, lugging yourself around like a dead man walking coz that's exactly what the rest of the world is doing.
I believe, each one of us has a choice, we can be the masters of who we want to be. If it isn't making you happy, its not what are meant to be doing. It it feels like a burden, then maybe, it is.
Reality is what you make it to be. You may be happy to be led, governed by circumstances or you'd prefer to be the one dictating terms. That is a call you have to take. But just coz it seems right and fits the template, doesn't mean that is. Maybe, just maybe, it can be different - not necessarily better or worse but different.
Life is gift - or a curse. For most of us, it ends up becoming the latter and we end up compromising just to be one of the Joneses...
Believe - you have a choice, it may not be shining bright enough to catch you eye just yet but its out there, like an uncut diamond. You don't have to make you with whatever comes your way - that's not to say that you should just be a "stuck up 'no no'" person, but that whatever your current lot in life, you can still aspire. You can go grab the stars, even its just the one on top of the Christmas tree, its a start nevertheless.
Dream! Its important to not stop dreaming. A brave man once said, "never judge a man by what he has made of his life, but he wants to make of it hereon!" I call him brave coz its very difficult to overlook the present and where people can be in life but so what! This is about you, not about them!!
It may seem difficult, childish, but then weren't you happy as a child - when the sky was the limit to your aspirations and even without being able to spell it, you wanted to be an astrophysicist!
Write it down - you once wanted to be a novelist, remember? what happened to that? Or you really really wanted to date this girl, but never got around to asking her out? Do it, turn back if you can, she may just be waiting for you, or she may not but atleast you tried! Maintain a "thought" diary where you can be as random as you want, where you can be honest with yourself, where you can be you..
You know just coz it came your way, doesn't mean you have to be stuck with the first choice. You can choose to wait it out, or keep striving for your dreams, even if you didn't. If they are defined by materialism, so be it. But be sure to choose your life over your lifestyle!
Afterall, there are no rights or wrongs in life, its a journey. So pace it out or burn it out; as you wish, just be aware that you are choosing to do so. And in any case, "in the long run, we are all dead", so no-one's gonna remember you or your mistakes or your successes or your net worth for too long, but you got one shot at life and maybe just maybe, they'll remember your dreams, your passion, your words - now that's something ain't it!;-)
If this makes you feel light-hearted, then maybe its already the start of something magical, if not; lighten up, you, my friend are fore-armed!;-)
Adios amigo!:D
2> Spa appointment
3> Groceries!
4> Pack for the trip
5> Tomorrow's big meeting - get the primer done
6> Collect dry cleaning
.
.
.
.
Ever feel like you are running to be in the same place?
That the theory of relativity defines your life - you are aging even though you are just an observer; you are free-falling just coz you aren't doing anything!
That the rain just reminds you of how horrid the traffic is going to be..
That you "visit" family; the flower shop; your fave restaurant...
That it's all going so fast that the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror was just to wear make-up...
Somehow, between all those meetings, office trips, emails and salary checks, your best friend had her heart broken and you never came to know....or you yours but never got around to talking about it...
Your secy is your new best friend, your boss is your God and work your religion...
Somehow, your to do list is never-ending and some crisis or the other keeps pushing you on and on...
Your perception of reality is "I my me", you broke up with a guy coz he earned less than you and all that you can focus on away from work is well, work!
Admit it, life isn't exactly where you thought it would be but it is. You live in a dream, but you aren't sure if its yours...
You know, you don't have to compromise - just coz it seems like the only option does not mean it is! Just coz it seems like the "ideal" life, "ideal" guy, "ideal" whatever, does not mean that you stop dreaming, aspiring, walking on.
A lot of times in life, maybe everyday for some of us, we wonder. Then we wonder, what's to wonder, what's wrong with me, he seems perfect, its really good money, I am not qualified for anything else, and we reconcile and re-believe that our life is perfect. But for how long?
Ever feel like you are running to be in the same place?
Don't run so fast that you get your ankle twisted, or worse your foot fractured.
Gosh, you are only so many years old, you do have the luxury of time on your hands. what once you reach the top? Just coz you are so used to running, you are gonna topple right off - maybe pulled down by exactly one of those super-driven sorts who eerily reminds you of the way you were.
I mean seriously, was this even your dream, passion, true calling to begin with?
Are you truly, honestly, happy, contented?
Do you have a good night's sleep once you hit the bed or you just go from one alarm to the other - one to remind you its bedtime and the other to wake you up!
Do you call your wife/husband/proxy just to hear their voice? Or are they there in your life just like one of those props you picked up in an awards function?
Stop! Stop dragging yourself, lugging yourself around like a dead man walking coz that's exactly what the rest of the world is doing.
I believe, each one of us has a choice, we can be the masters of who we want to be. If it isn't making you happy, its not what are meant to be doing. It it feels like a burden, then maybe, it is.
Reality is what you make it to be. You may be happy to be led, governed by circumstances or you'd prefer to be the one dictating terms. That is a call you have to take. But just coz it seems right and fits the template, doesn't mean that is. Maybe, just maybe, it can be different - not necessarily better or worse but different.
Life is gift - or a curse. For most of us, it ends up becoming the latter and we end up compromising just to be one of the Joneses...
Believe - you have a choice, it may not be shining bright enough to catch you eye just yet but its out there, like an uncut diamond. You don't have to make you with whatever comes your way - that's not to say that you should just be a "stuck up 'no no'" person, but that whatever your current lot in life, you can still aspire. You can go grab the stars, even its just the one on top of the Christmas tree, its a start nevertheless.
Dream! Its important to not stop dreaming. A brave man once said, "never judge a man by what he has made of his life, but he wants to make of it hereon!" I call him brave coz its very difficult to overlook the present and where people can be in life but so what! This is about you, not about them!!
It may seem difficult, childish, but then weren't you happy as a child - when the sky was the limit to your aspirations and even without being able to spell it, you wanted to be an astrophysicist!
Write it down - you once wanted to be a novelist, remember? what happened to that? Or you really really wanted to date this girl, but never got around to asking her out? Do it, turn back if you can, she may just be waiting for you, or she may not but atleast you tried! Maintain a "thought" diary where you can be as random as you want, where you can be honest with yourself, where you can be you..
You know just coz it came your way, doesn't mean you have to be stuck with the first choice. You can choose to wait it out, or keep striving for your dreams, even if you didn't. If they are defined by materialism, so be it. But be sure to choose your life over your lifestyle!
Afterall, there are no rights or wrongs in life, its a journey. So pace it out or burn it out; as you wish, just be aware that you are choosing to do so. And in any case, "in the long run, we are all dead", so no-one's gonna remember you or your mistakes or your successes or your net worth for too long, but you got one shot at life and maybe just maybe, they'll remember your dreams, your passion, your words - now that's something ain't it!;-)
If this makes you feel light-hearted, then maybe its already the start of something magical, if not; lighten up, you, my friend are fore-armed!;-)
Adios amigo!:D
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
The Quarter-Life Crisis
This is from a popular forward warranting a lot of nods in "my gen"!;-)
-Bhavana
"BEING IN TWENTIES - SOMETHING... :)
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis""
-Bhavana
"BEING IN TWENTIES - SOMETHING... :)
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis""
Technically...
Technically- i jst love dis word! Add it as a disclaimer to any situation "technically i dint say that/ mean that/ write that"- and u cud "technically" get away wid murder!!
U knw some words, they hav a way of becoming more than they seem capable of..another case in point, take generally! I mean "generally hez a nice guy"- v.subtly thr u point-blank negated all the bad stuff hez potentially capable of!! Or ""generally" i dont feel like it"- the word magically encompasses a multitude of possible reasons rt frm stomach ache to moodiness to an alien attack!! Without actually subjecting the othr party of the deep morass of conflicting emotions tht r possibly playing kabaddi in ur head! Wow!! Generally, its such a clean, non-commital, antiseptic, emotionally void word tht "technically" really bothers me but sumhw is essential 2 our vocab! Ouch!!
Actually, maybe wht really bothers me is the comfort-zone tht this word offers, the neat way in which one can get away frm nt answering the "why" tht may othrwise follow..
Then r v all running away? Frm sumthg, questions, commitment? To ppl, ideas, plans?
Maybe..
Thr goes, here's anothr one of those! Maybe maybe nt, but "someday" i m gonna list all these generics down!!
::cudnt resist the last one;-)::
U knw some words, they hav a way of becoming more than they seem capable of..another case in point, take generally! I mean "generally hez a nice guy"- v.subtly thr u point-blank negated all the bad stuff hez potentially capable of!! Or ""generally" i dont feel like it"- the word magically encompasses a multitude of possible reasons rt frm stomach ache to moodiness to an alien attack!! Without actually subjecting the othr party of the deep morass of conflicting emotions tht r possibly playing kabaddi in ur head! Wow!! Generally, its such a clean, non-commital, antiseptic, emotionally void word tht "technically" really bothers me but sumhw is essential 2 our vocab! Ouch!!
Actually, maybe wht really bothers me is the comfort-zone tht this word offers, the neat way in which one can get away frm nt answering the "why" tht may othrwise follow..
Then r v all running away? Frm sumthg, questions, commitment? To ppl, ideas, plans?
Maybe..
Thr goes, here's anothr one of those! Maybe maybe nt, but "someday" i m gonna list all these generics down!!
::cudnt resist the last one;-)::
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Sugar and Spice
Food! Ah, the best friend we turn to for comfort, the companion which indulges us, the element tht's a great pick-me-up, the perfect conversation starter that leads us 2 form new relationships or even mend old ones, test our limits, get in touch wid d baser instincts within, the exoticity of which forces us 2 get out of comfort zones and explore alternative realities(cuisinewise and maybe who knws, even otherwise!!) ..Food- the perfect friend, matchmaker, stressbuster, teacher.. Food- life's kinda incomplete widout the experiences it enriches us wid, dnt u think?!:D sigh,
A diehard foodie:D
A diehard foodie:D
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The Ghajini effect
"Oh I forgot!" - How often do we hear this? or the supposedly more honest version, "I was busy and therefore..." Obviously, this is followed by a "hope that's ok" or a genuine "I am sorry", but are u feeling ok or even forgiving? In most cases, we let it slide.."No stress"/"Its ok"/"chill"/"whatever" are some of our standard responses. After all, we do want to be seen as accepting/accommodating/understanding. But deep inside, its either guilt (I also do this sometimes) or deep hurt that are actually behind that smile. No yaar, its not ok! I don't want you to forget to call/message/write/email/feel/breathe...
Ultimately, we need to accept to ourselves that we are not okay with being used, with being "cool", with being forgotten..even if its really/truly/sincerely so...Our egos just cant accept it and maybe we should stop pretending that they can!!
Its okay to be hurt, to be in pain, to cry, to grieve, to react or even retaliate - its part of being human...Face it, however cold, materialistic, machinistic we may think we are, just that thought proves that we are living, breathing, feeling beings!
Robbie Williams wants to feel the living, Savage garden wants to live like animals, and I just want to be aware!:-) and maybe even prod u to explore the "Emotional Quotient" within!;D
Ultimately, we need to accept to ourselves that we are not okay with being used, with being "cool", with being forgotten..even if its really/truly/sincerely so...Our egos just cant accept it and maybe we should stop pretending that they can!!
Its okay to be hurt, to be in pain, to cry, to grieve, to react or even retaliate - its part of being human...Face it, however cold, materialistic, machinistic we may think we are, just that thought proves that we are living, breathing, feeling beings!
Robbie Williams wants to feel the living, Savage garden wants to live like animals, and I just want to be aware!:-) and maybe even prod u to explore the "Emotional Quotient" within!;D
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tuning in
chup chup ke, chup chup ke somewhr in the deep receses of thoughts, cynicism, disillusionment and disbelief, all we want is a sign. All we want 2 do is believe- sum1 cares, koi sun raha hai, i matter, dammit i count! Do u? Dont knw, but isnt the fact tht u r rt here, rt nw, in this day and age enuf proof tht u do count..sumwhr, sumhw, in sum cosmic equation, u cud be the catalyst tht tho passive, yet makes it possible! So wht if u dont knw it yet! Sumtimes, maybe v need 2 let go, and take tht leap of faith in2 nt knwing, yet believing..and if u do knw wht u want then all the more reason 4 u 2 believe thts its possible..jst believe- in d goodness of others, in the innocence of childhood, in the power of goodwill, in urself..Send the msg 2 the universe tht u believe and watch the magic unfold;-)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Des Mere Des Mere...
Patriotic - who makes one? Let me rephrase - what makes a patriot? Is it rallying and sloganeering? Is it boisterous chest thumping? or is it a loud "Happy Independence day" (maybe even a message/email - we are a v.tech savvy nation u know!)? no wait, maybe its wearing the colours of the flag? or maybe, just maybe its standing up when the national anthem is being played...or saluting a brave jawan? or respecting a Shahid..
Mostly, most of the most obvious loud demonstrations of patriotism seem to be just that - demonstrations. They are not some-how the real thing; getting lost on the way to showing what it should be like, maybe we forget what it really is to be one...Pop-patriotism is the order of the day when you play holi with saffron gulal, wear khadi in international fora and chastise your kids for getting their hindi wrong - afterall its our matrabhasha bhai!
No offense to our collective sensibilities, it is definitely always a good idea to declare your patriotism, but should we not, as thinking people, take the definition beyond mere actions? It is not a way of life? to accept your shortcomings as a nation, to be aware but yet to believe..We know we lack, but we know we shall overcome...
Dharma, karma - these are not mere words. They indicate a way of life - a life of valuing, preserving and cherishing what you have..
Who defines a patriot? Maybe, purchasing the Mahatma's possessions is an act of patriotism - its not about speaking the "right" words, wearing the "right" attire, or living the "right" lifestyle - its about thinking the right thing!!
Maybe, even though its not made by an "Indian", "Slumdog" is a patriotic film - it may not be the best you have seen but its about victory and underdogs, a theme Indianness well identifies with..
Patriotism - I leave it to you to define, somehow I can't!
Mostly, most of the most obvious loud demonstrations of patriotism seem to be just that - demonstrations. They are not some-how the real thing; getting lost on the way to showing what it should be like, maybe we forget what it really is to be one...Pop-patriotism is the order of the day when you play holi with saffron gulal, wear khadi in international fora and chastise your kids for getting their hindi wrong - afterall its our matrabhasha bhai!
No offense to our collective sensibilities, it is definitely always a good idea to declare your patriotism, but should we not, as thinking people, take the definition beyond mere actions? It is not a way of life? to accept your shortcomings as a nation, to be aware but yet to believe..We know we lack, but we know we shall overcome...
Dharma, karma - these are not mere words. They indicate a way of life - a life of valuing, preserving and cherishing what you have..
Who defines a patriot? Maybe, purchasing the Mahatma's possessions is an act of patriotism - its not about speaking the "right" words, wearing the "right" attire, or living the "right" lifestyle - its about thinking the right thing!!
Maybe, even though its not made by an "Indian", "Slumdog" is a patriotic film - it may not be the best you have seen but its about victory and underdogs, a theme Indianness well identifies with..
Patriotism - I leave it to you to define, somehow I can't!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
