The Ghajini effect

"Oh I forgot!" - How often do we hear this? or the supposedly more honest version, "I was busy and therefore..." Obviously, this is followed by a "hope that's ok" or a genuine "I am sorry", but are u feeling ok or even forgiving? In most cases, we let it slide.."No stress"/"Its ok"/"chill"/"whatever" are some of our standard responses. After all, we do want to be seen as accepting/accommodating/understanding. But deep inside, its either guilt (I also do this sometimes) or deep hurt that are actually behind that smile. No yaar, its not ok! I don't want you to forget to call/message/write/email/feel/breathe...

Ultimately, we need to accept to ourselves that we are not okay with being used, with being "cool", with being forgotten..even if its really/truly/sincerely so...Our egos just cant accept it and maybe we should stop pretending that they can!!

Its okay to be hurt, to be in pain, to cry, to grieve, to react or even retaliate - its part of being human...Face it, however cold, materialistic, machinistic we may think we are, just that thought proves that we are living, breathing, feeling beings!

Robbie Williams wants to feel the living, Savage garden wants to live like animals, and I just want to be aware!:-) and maybe even prod u to explore the "Emotional Quotient" within!;D

Tuning in

chup chup ke, chup chup ke somewhr in the deep receses of thoughts, cynicism, disillusionment and disbelief, all we want is a sign. All we want 2 do is believe- sum1 cares, koi sun raha hai, i matter, dammit i count! Do u? Dont knw, but isnt the fact tht u r rt here, rt nw, in this day and age enuf proof tht u do count..sumwhr, sumhw, in sum cosmic equation, u cud be the catalyst tht tho passive, yet makes it possible! So wht if u dont knw it yet! Sumtimes, maybe v need 2 let go, and take tht leap of faith in2 nt knwing, yet believing..and if u do knw wht u want then all the more reason 4 u 2 believe thts its possible..jst believe- in d goodness of others, in the innocence of childhood, in the power of goodwill, in urself..Send the msg 2 the universe tht u believe and watch the magic unfold;-)

Des Mere Des Mere...

Patriotic - who makes one? Let me rephrase - what makes a patriot? Is it rallying and sloganeering? Is it boisterous chest thumping? or is it a loud "Happy Independence day" (maybe even a message/email - we are a v.tech savvy nation u know!)? no wait, maybe its wearing the colours of the flag? or maybe, just maybe its standing up when the national anthem is being played...or saluting a brave jawan? or respecting a Shahid..

Mostly, most of the most obvious loud demonstrations of patriotism seem to be just that - demonstrations. They are not some-how the real thing; getting lost on the way to showing what it should be like, maybe we forget what it really is to be one...Pop-patriotism is the order of the day when you play holi with saffron gulal, wear khadi in international fora and chastise your kids for getting their hindi wrong - afterall its our matrabhasha bhai!

No offense to our collective sensibilities, it is definitely always a good idea to declare your patriotism, but should we not, as thinking people, take the definition beyond mere actions? It is not a way of life? to accept your shortcomings as a nation, to be aware but yet to believe..We know we lack, but we know we shall overcome...

Dharma, karma - these are not mere words. They indicate a way of life - a life of valuing, preserving and cherishing what you have..

Who defines a patriot? Maybe, purchasing the Mahatma's possessions is an act of patriotism - its not about speaking the "right" words, wearing the "right" attire, or living the "right" lifestyle - its about thinking the right thing!!

Maybe, even though its not made by an "Indian", "Slumdog" is a patriotic film - it may not be the best you have seen but its about victory and underdogs, a theme Indianness well identifies with..

Patriotism - I leave it to you to define, somehow I can't!

Randomizing!

What is freedom?

The world - "its disintegrating!" they said, "mine's falling apart", he said, "Who cares" - she said!

In a strange, twisted, illogical, inhuman way - she's right. Slowly, gradually, consciously or subconsciously we all tend to play victim...Why did he say that, who does she think she is, the government needs to do something, this is all the US's fault, those bloody xyz (sorority club/ nationality/ gender/ occupation - fill in the blanks as u wish!!), and the list goes on...

She did this to me, moved away, froze me off, seduced me?, confused me...

Hez such a jerk, went away, commitment-phobic, just interested in f*ing me.....

That economy, I don't know how it works, all consumerism - the model is unsustainable.. The financiers, bankers - all selfish pigs...The president, hez such a moron!

Well all of that may be true, but does that change anything, does it really matter? What is important is only, truly, just you..Does knowing that help? maybe, maybe not...however, it may just put things in perspective...your whole life, your every living breath, your every thought, your every action, every word - does not just have to be about him/her/them/this/that...It can be individualistic, it can be independent, it can be weird, it can be unconventional, it can be quite untrue, it can be borrowed, it can be out of context, it can not-be-enough - but it can count and it does deserve its place as a possibility!

You need others - that's true, after all no man or woman is an island but you are you - that matters, a lot...you can choose to be his or herz, to lead or be lead, to be free or to find freedom in belonging, to be in chaos or to forever be sure - but whatever it is, ultimately it is a choice...even not choosing, even ignorance, even taking someone for granted or not - that is a choice..

A few years ago she came to me in a dream and said -

all the world's out there, and you slumber on..

there is fire and ice,

magic and white mice,

well I am happy with my number,

don't want any hocus pocus,

any hanky panky with some lying pansy! I drone on..

Live if you must,

but aleast know what's beyond the crust..

don't develop a comfort zone;

my dear, learn to move on..

In my humdrum existence,

she gifted me with disturbance..

In the summer sunshine,

she lent me winter hues!

I dont know if that is good or bad,

after all its not easy being a pre-grad!

A crazy litany, this one,

still manages to make me glum!:-(

but a victim I choose not to be

atleast I am not yet numb, even though the world remains glum!

Kudos to the global financial crisis, it has managed to take the joy out of wearing my "Isis"!!! Though cured me it has of my February blues, I hope march looks to April for its cues!!

just some crazy randomizing - actually, I was just trying to screw your brain up and get u out of the deep deep morass of constant whimsical wallow!!!:P